Super Effective Ways To Get Your Kids To Listen To You!

There are many different reasons why children struggle with listening to their parents. This parent/child dynamic has been an issue ever since people first started having kids. While many parents wish they can stop this dynamic from taking place, they often have to deal with disobedient children’s reality.

Keep reading the information presented here because it provides super effective ways to get your kid to listen to you.

Reasons why Kids don’t Listen to You

Every day there is at least one parent that deals with an unruly kid. A disobedient child often doesn’t listen to their mom and dad for many different reasons. Everybody has their own opinion about why kids don’t listen to their parents.

However, there are major reasons why they don’t listen well. These reasons are listed below.

A Constant Struggle for Independence Begins at Birth

Most people might not realize this, but kids begin to struggle for independence once they exit their mother’s womb. Most people know that an infant can’t care for themselves.

However, by the time they are one year old, they have already been figuring out how to do things independently.

It’s a parent’s job to teach their kids how to act, behave, and care for themselves. This process starts from infancy to the age of 18. This 18-year teaching period is used to show kids how to be normal functioning human beings.

During this time, kids learn essential hygiene habits, how to feed themselves, how clean, rules for social behavior, rules for family behavior, and how to interact with the world around them. They also learn about emotions, feelings, and many other aspects of being a normal functioning human being.

While kids are learning how to function as a normal person, they also learn how to be independent. Some children figure out how to exert their independence at an early age. Other kids take more time developing this trait. When a child realizes that they can do certain things independently and can do them in the right way, they begin to realize that they no longer need mom and dad.

This struggle for independence lasts from the womb up until the time they leave home. This is a huge reason why kids tend not to listen to their parents. They believe they are capable of living life on their terms in their way. In other words, they want to be free from their parent’s authority.

Disobedient Children Think they know Better

Some children don’t listen to parents (or adults) because they believe they know more than adults. Some kids are quite intelligent and learn a great deal for their age.

However, they are not experienced enough to wisely apply their intelligence. This is a major reason why kids are disobedient, and it ties into their struggle for independence.

Children are Taught to Rebel against Authority

Some kids are taught directly (and indirectly) how to rebel against their parents. This bad lesson can be taught in the home, or they can learn it from their environment.

Also, some kids naturally rebel. Still, if a child lives in an environment where people are disrespectful and mean to each other, they pick up on the behavior. Besides, they can learn this behavior by frequently watching TV, video games or often seeing people act this way within their neighborhood or community.

Some Kids are just Spoiled by Nature

Many people disagree with this reality, but some kids are naturally disobedient. People are born with many different types of personalities and mental states.

There are plenty of kids who have assertive, kind, and loving parents who end up becoming rebellious, disobedient, and violent kids. They have been raised in good homes, but their natural disposition is to fight against their parent’s instruction.

Again, you might not want to listen to this truth, but not every person born in the world will do the right thing or be a good child. Some people are naturally more defiant than others and who are naturally evil than others.

The Abuse Factor

Some kids won’t listen to mom, dad, or adults in general because they have been abused. Many abused kids tend to rebel against adults because of the abuse and trauma they suffered from them.

This trauma causes them to rebel and this rebellion is necessary to protect themselves from further harm. Some kids are afraid to be obedient to their parents because they believe it will make them vulnerable to further abuse and trauma.

The Mental Health Factor

Many kids have mental health issues today. These issues often disrupt their ability to function in a usual way.

These kids need extra instruction on how to behave and how to interact with adults. A lot of kids are just not capable of doing these things on their own.

Both Parents are not on the Same Page

If there is an inconsistency between parents or one parent is undermining the other, then disobedience will be the result. Children tend to align themselves with the parents that give them the most leeway to do what they desire.

If mom is a stern woman and dad is more laid back, children will generally choose the more laid-back parent because that individual is less of a hassle to deal with. Parents need to be on the same page when it comes to rules, punishments, and expectations.

Parents who don’t do this will usually cause their child to rebel against the parent that resists their will.

Parents don’t Raise their Kids to be Obedient

Many parents don’t teach their kids how to be obedient. They don’t punish them when they need to be punished, they don’t set boundaries, and they don’t stick by their rules. Kids realize that if they can keep doing stuff and get away with it, they will continue to do so.

This mindset is what makes keeping strict rules important for parents. Again, a child will not always do the right thing on their own. Mom and dad will often have to reinforce rules, punish, and continue to teach their kids how to be obedient.

These are the major reasons why kids don’t listen to their parents. There are more, but the major problems that cause children to be disobedient have been listed here.

Steps for Getting your Child to Listen to You

The following steps should be used to get your child to listen to you.

Train your Child how to Listen from Birth

Parents who want obedient children must begin to train them how to listen from birth. If they don’t, their child will probably disobey them at a very early age. When a child shows signs of independence and rebellion, parents have to shut it down immediately.

This doesn’t mean that mom has to abuse her kids to make them listen. However, it does mean that dad will have to teach his child what it means to be obedient to their parents.

Even if dad was a rebel during his youth, he must teach this very important lesson to his kid. If not, his child will probably be a rebel. The best way to do this is to allow your child to have some independence at a young age.

If they disobey, talkback, or do things they know are not right, parents will have to punish them. Punishing them doesn’t always mean whipping your child. However, you should keep this form of punishment available.

Remember, some kids are naturally more unruly than others. Often, a good whipping can make this behavior stop when nothing else will work.

The main thing to remember is to make rules, follow the rules, enforce rules, and punish accordingly. If you don’t, you are setting your child up to be a rebel. Unfortunately, many kids will try to take advantage of this behavior.

Lead by Example

Parents should lead by example when teaching their kids obedience. If a person cannot be obedient to those over them, they should not expect their children to follow suit. Some parents are not obedient to authority and they don’t respect authority.

However, they expect children to be answerable to them. If a parent can’t show respect to people over them (bosses, higher ranking co-workers, older relatives, est.), they should not expect to get respect in return.

Have Consistent Rules for Every Kid in a Multiple Child Household

What this means is that parents have to treat everyone fairly. General rules should apply to all children. However, kids mature faster and can be older than their siblings. For example, if a child is 16, their rules will differ from their sister, who is 8. There is a big difference between a 16-year-old and a two-year-old.

However, if you have many kids within a 4-year age range (9, 10, 11, 12), the rules should apply to all kids in your home.

General rules such as everyone contributing to the upkeep of the home should be for everyone. However, 15-year-old kids should have rules about hanging out with their friends or socializing at other people’s houses.

The rules might be different for different age groups and levels of maturity. Still, the basic rules of the home should be consistent for everyone. Otherwise, you will have some kids who play into their sensitive sense of fairness and be defiant toward their parents.

Reward for Good Behavior

Rewards work to promote good behavior. However, they should be used as an “extra” method for helping kids to behave. Parents do not go overboard with rewards. You should use them sensibly. You don’t want your kids doing the right thing to get something in return.

Quick Tips that Should Get Kids to Listen

Let me start by stating that there is no such thing as a 100% obedient child you won’t disobey at some time. People are not always that compliant, not even well-behaved kids. Still, the following tips can be used to get kids listening and obeying.

•  Don’t yell all the time. You can scold when it’s necessary. You can get kids to listen without yelling. Many defiant kids don’t like yelling and they’ll yell back. If you do have to yell, follow through with a stern punishment or whipping. 

• Whipping your child is necessary at times. Even in today’s (no abuse) culture. Whip them anyway. Sometimes the only thing that will keep a kid in line is a good spanking or a good whipping. You might disagree, but this method has worked for thousands of years. Just make sure you’re not abusing your child in the process.

• Ask your child why they won’t listen to you or why they talk back. Their insight into this matter can help you to figure out what is wrong.

• Try to limit the power struggle as quickly as possible. You will not always be successful in this area. Some kids have a strong sense of independence. Still, if they’re living under your roof, they have got to follow your rules. No exceptions. You should also listen without being judgmental when they explain why they are not respectful.

• Be wise with warnings and reprimands. The first time a kid does something wrong, they should not be seriously punished unless it is a severe infraction. For example, if your child beats another kid unconscious in a fight, you have to punish them sternly to ensure they don’t repeat this behavior. But if your kid says something that is kind of smart to you, then warn them not to continue with this behavior.

• Make sure you’re always administering the proper punishment for a child’s age and maturity level. A 2-year-old kid will be different from a ten-year-old kid. You have to make sure your punishments are appropriate for where your child is at in life.

• Give your child some time to change their behavior. Ensure that you are giving them grace and the room to mess up even though you might have to punish them.

FAQs

Here are some general questions about getting kids to listen.

• Will my kids always listen to me?

No. Did you always listen to and obey your parents or the authority over you? Some kids are more disobedient than others. Sooner or later, all kids will be defiant—even the good ones.

• Is it okay to whoop my disobedient child?

Yes. Just whip them when the time is right. Don’t abuse them. Just whip them. Sometimes, kids need this type of tough love.

• My child doesn’t respond to any form of correction. What should I do?

Some children will be disobedient to the point where it might seem useless to correct them. If a child reaches this point, you might have to place them in someone else’s care that they do not like.

This will help them to understand that they cannot disrespect you and not listen to you in your own home. Remember, you should love your kids and tolerate their bad behavior to a certain point.

However, you cannot allow a child to run you or your home. Sometimes, they will have to be removed from your environment to get your point across. Hopefully, it won’t have to come to this.

• Is there hope for kids who don’t listen?

Yes, people change all the time. Kids change often. Some bad kids simply grow out of the behavior. Some defiant kids are severely punished, and they change. Regardless of the reason, kids can change.

They can become better people who listen to their parents and to other adults who are over them.